Boxing Breakdown

Last night I attended a mitt class for only the second time in the two years I’ve been going to this gym. I was having a really difficult time remembering combinations/how to turn my body to block and deflect punches. I felt embarrassed, stupid, and incapable. I felt sorry for my partner for having to deal with my slow brain. I kept apologizing to her and then judged myself for both judging myself so harshly and also for the way I was talking about myself to her. I wanted to give up and cry. I could not believe the ridiculous script of negative self-talk that was going through my head and was more frustrated that I was judging myself so harshly than the fact that I was struggling so much with the movements.

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Three Nights of Solitude

Prior to arrival at Windridge Solitude, I was prepared to have a mental breakdown of some sort. I knew that three nights alone in a cottage with no technology, books, or music was going to be a challenge and I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to handle it. I was a bit surprised and very happy that I didn’t actually have any breakdowns at all and loved every moment of solitude.

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Self-Care Summer

In 2015 I did a couple months of daily self-care posts and they helped me keep awareness of how I am treating myself beyond those 30 day spurts. Lately I’ve noticed my self-care slipping a little and I know the next couple of months are going to be full of feelings so I’ve decided to embark on a new journey: #selfcaresummer #68daysofart.

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Remembering Buddy

Oh my Buddy, Buddy Gato, “Hey, Buddy Gato” (to the tune of Hey Macarena), my lover Buddy, cuddle Buddy, Bud, Spuds, Spuds Nugget, Bird, Bird Gato, Honey Buddy, Tweety, Tweety Bird, Sweetie Pie, Honey Buddy Boy, Pretty Buddy Boy, Super Buddy.

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Selfcareber (a month of self-care)

One beautiful thing about self-care is that it is unique to each individual. Ask yourself what feeds your soul, what makes you feel good, what makes you come alive with passion. THOSE are the things to do for self-care. What works for one person may not work for another. What is relaxing for one person may induce stress in another. If someone told me I need to run on a treadmill every day to get enough exercise for my health I would laugh at them. I can’t stand treadmills! If I told someone they need to get 9 hours of sleep each night but they only need 6, they’d be wasting 3 hours and probably wouldn’t be able to do it. You get what I’m trying to say. Self-care shouldn’t add stress to your life. Small changes can make a huge impact.

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Remembering Little Girl

I miss Little Girl terribly. My favorite kitty was only 9 years old when I lost her this past December, and I know I will never find another companion as loving and affectionate as she was. She adored going outside to be social and never struggled much when I put her harness on. It always made me smile to hear the patter of her tiny paws on the concrete as her pace quickened to greet dogs or people as they approached.

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Thoughts on Thoughts (2014 Review)

Earlier this year when I was in the throes of a massive amount of overwhelming anxiety, the last thing I wanted to hear was that I brought a lot of it on myself. And I did hear that from a few people, including a therapist. “What can you cut back on? You do realize you signed up for all of this, right?”

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