Lexine, my Best Buy Nothing Friend
It has been nearly 6 months since my best Buy Nothing friend Lexine left her body. When she died, I was a bit in survival mode after a crazy season at work and losing Psycho Kitty in December, and I didn’t make time to grieve. I helped at her celebration of life and picked out rocks for folks to take in her memory because those were tangible things I could do at the time.
But I didn’t cry enough. I know this because there have been several times since then that I have felt tears start to well up, but I haven’t let myself let them out. It’s funny how even when I KNOW I’ll feel better after I cry, sometimes it just feels impossible to let it happen. I like the quote “when you bury feelings, you bury them alive,” and unfortunately I’m feeling this now.
Yesterday I visited Lexine’s grave with her daughter and son-in-law. While I was placing some love rocks on her grave, Paulita said, “She would be glad you’re here,” or something to that effect. I felt tears then and tried to let a few out, but couldn’t let them out fully. Now I’m at home thinking and writing about her and I can’t cry. Maybe it’s because the window is open and I’m irritated to see that neighbors have rented horses to ride down the street and young children are screaming.
Anyway . . . enough about me and my experience.
Lexine was a true angel in overalls. She was one of the first people I met in person through the Buy Nothing group and she immediately made the neighborhood feel like home. In the beginning, every time I picked something up from her or she picked something up from me, she would leave a cute little handwritten note. I need to do some digging to see if I kept any of those. I hope I did so I can take a picture of them. Over the years we saw each other so much she didn’t need to keep leaving little notes, but I love that she did that for so many people in the Buy Nothing Community. The art of a handwritten thank you is slowly dwindling.
Lexine was one of the most kind, thoughtful, and generous people I’ve ever met. Anytime I mentioned I was looking for something, she would make it her personal mission to find whatever item I was seeking. She helped me find the perfect soap dispenser after quite a search, and she found a cute ceramic watering can with a rainbow on it that I still use at work to water my succulents. I have heard so many stories from others about her doing the same for them. When I saw her in person she would ask me about things I had posted about weeks ago and long forgotten. She was one of the first people I talked to about making my own laundry detergent and shared her recipe with me. She knew I loved cats and would get me cat things even though she was allergic. She was so beloved. So positive. So warm.
It didn’t take long before she became my “Fairy StonkMother.” This requires a side story -- My partner used to be very active in the enamel pin buy/sell/trade market, and he called it the “stonk market” because their value would fluctuate like the stock market. It didn’t take long for us to start calling the Buy Nothing gifts “stonks” even though there wasn’t monetary value involved. It was just fun to say: “I’m going to pick up some stonks!”
Lexine had connections to tons of charities and organizations. Whenever things wouldn’t get claimed on Buy Nothing, she would happily stop by in her army green jeep and pick up whatever remained to find good homes for them. Sometimes she would even put up a free table in her driveway. I knew about Home Sweet Home before I met her, but their hours aren’t convenient for me. Anytime I had something I wanted to donate there, I would reach out to Lexine because I knew she would be sure it got there. (I found out later that we have a couple of people who live in the neighborhood who volunteer there regularly!)
I used to be super active on the Buy Nothing group and would post individual pictures of stonks to gift regularly, but sometimes posting every individual thing and choosing a recipient is exhausting. I have gone through periods of time where I couldn’t keep up with my growing outgoing stonk pile, and every time I reached out to Lexine, she would come by and grab whatever I had. This is why I started calling her my “Fairy StonkMother.” I’m so glad that within the last year I told her about the nickname and explained how it started. I think it’s a cute story.
In 2025 when my grandmother died, Lexine went out of her way to be kind to me. She even sent me quarterly grief booklets from a church, which was so thoughtful. Her sister is finishing sending the books to those still on Lexine’s list who hadn’t received all 4 of them yet at the time of her passing. Even though I don’t consider myself religious, the content of the booklets is well-written and helpful. I was happily surprised to see a picture of the envelope for the 4th book in my informed delivery email, but sadly it never showed up. I might try to track down a copy of the 4th book because it feels incomplete to only have 3 of the 4.
My last gift to her was several boxes of books, including many from my childhood. I don’t know why it had been so hard for me to let go of those, but I was grateful that she would find a good home for them. The last time I saw her in person, she apologized for not being able to help coordinate pickups for my friend who was moving because she just had a surgery. I laughed and told her she was sweet and that I absolutely did not expect her to help every single time I needed something. She owed me nothing but cared deeply for everyone around her.
She was a woman of faith, and it somehow seems appropriate to me that her mother died on Christmas Day in 2024 and she died on Good Friday. I know she was a closer friend to many others, but she felt like family to me. We were in touch multiple times each month. I’m grateful to have met both of her children and I’m happy that they are also lovely people. Thank you, Peter, for keeping the driveway free tables alive! And thank you, Paulita for asking me to pick out rocks for her celebration of life.
