Selfcareber (a month of self-care)

I struggle with the change of seasons when winter approaches every year. Awhile back I did "30 Days of Self-Care" and I think November would be a great month to do it again. It will be #selfcareber. Taking good care of ourself seems to be one of the most important things we need to do if we want to be healthy, but it's also very easy to neglect because we get so busy taking care of other people/animals/things.

Day 1
Slept in, went to a roller derby practice, went through a bunch of paperwork that I needed to organize, and finished meal prep for the week.

Day 2
One beautiful thing about self-care is that it is unique to each individual. Ask yourself what feeds your soul, what makes you feel good, what makes you come alive with passion. THOSE are the things to do for self-care. What works for one person may not work for another. What is relaxing for one person may induce stress in another. If someone told me I need to run on a treadmill every day to get enough exercise for my health I would laugh at them. I can’t stand treadmills! If I told someone they need to get 9 hours of sleep each night but they only need 6, they’d be wasting 3 hours and probably wouldn’t be able to do it. You get what I’m trying to say. Self-care shouldn’t add stress to your life. Small changes can make a huge impact.

This morning when a few things went awry I practiced kindness and forgiveness with myself. I didn’t quite make it to the guided meditation at work that I wanted to attend, but I DID get to work significantly earlier than usual and feel good about that. I also drank plenty of water (it’s so easy for me to get caught up in what I’m doing all day that I forget to hydrate!).

Day 3 - Collage clippings

Day 3 - Collage clippings

Day 3
Feeling too preachy lately so going to keep today short. I've been struggling with compulsive behaviors and am working on getting grounded again. Trying to have less screen time.

Attended a meditation group at work, went to the gym, and am going to work on a collage before going to bed early.

Day 4
Two words: outdoor. yoga. ‪

Day 5
Cut my inbox at work in half, did a lot of sweating at the gym, and am packed for MN and ready for bed by 9pm. ‪

Day 6
Got a salad instead of a dessert at Pizza Luce last night (was thinking about my tomorrow man, Melissa Mo Payne Dittberner! Haha). Also got to see a beautiful sunset when I was almost to St. Paul and made it in time to go to dinner with my dad and then watch MNRG's ‪#‎pantspooper‬ against TX. WOW, what a bout! ‪

Day 7
Stopped by my storage unit and took care of a few things after waking up exhausted this morning before heading to the roller derby a little after 3pm. Needed to recharge and so glad I did. Was able to talk to and get hugs from so many people! ‪

Day 8
Have been hydrating while I drive and stopping more frequently than I usually do on this drive, hoping to keep my immune system intact and to get my voice back for work tomorrow. ‪

Day 9
Made myself get a few groceries after the gym so I don't eat terribly the rest of the week and gave myself some time to do some journaling. Oh and tomorrow I'm going to a drawing & painting group thing with a bunch of strangers - they're going to have a model dressed up as Batman for us to draw.

Day 10 - Batman from drawing group

Day 10 - Batman from drawing group

Day 10
Today I found myself being impatient and getting frustrated easily. I'm glad I went to the meditation group at work. I don't draw as often as I'd like to, but when I do I tend to avoid drawing animals and people because they are so tough for me. At the Batman drawing group I felt extremely self-conscious for the first hour after glancing at some others' sketches. Clearly nobody cared what I was drawing but I was judging myself harshly. I was finally able to relax and focus for this one, but I think I'll stick to inanimate objects for the future. ‪

Day 11
FINALLY made an appointment with a new dentist for a checkup/cleaning (haven't been to a dentist since moving in March and have been procrastinating because I know I have at least 1 new cavity and might need another crown, bleh). Some of you know how much I love the dentist . . . Feels good to have something on the calendar at least.

Day 12
Went to yoga at work, had yummy salad leftovers from a catered lunch yesterday, and actually had a pleasant experience at the dentist. I don't even have to schedule any work to be done! Life is good. ‪

Day 13
Friday the 13th! Took a break at work to learn about the Chickasaw Nation and watch their stickball and stomp dance demonstration. I even participated when they had everyone join in on the dance (which thankfully didn't have many complicated movements). Then I played roller derby. I'm not sure that qualifies as "self-care" . . . But I had fun. One more game tonight with Midwest MEGA. ‪

Day 14
Before going to roller derby I spent some time outside (75 and sunny in mid-November?? Yes please!) and did my meal prep for the week. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow so I'm really glad I did that. ‪‪#‎rollerderbyhurts‬ ‪#‎worthit‬

Day 15
Finally got through sending font ideas and feedback to a friend for design of my "Eye of Medusa" logo/wordmark after procrastinating for months. After seeing how quickly Abby Jean Goodell-Whorealis got a nice website together I'm inspired to get moving on mine. Got a lot of creative energy out and sorted a bunch of recent photos I've taken but done nothing with. I have a feeling I'm going to have a very productive winter. Oh, and ice. Lots of ice. ‪

Day 16
Skipped the gym because my neck is still pretty sore from Saturday night. Instead I turned off my phone, turned on some music, grabbed a magazine, and took a bath. Besides this post I'm going to attempt to stay off of my phone the rest of the night.

Day 17
Trying to say something different every day but today can't come up with anything better than attended meditation group at work and did a lot of sweating at the gym. And I'm working more on my collage book. ‪

Day 18
When I scheduled a massage at Indigo Massage & Wellness for today, I didn't realize that it would be 4 months since Evan died. Today unexpectedly hit me pretty hard. My subconscious mind must have known I'd need the bodywork today. Yay for healing professionals. ♡ ‪

Day 19
Utilized the option to stand while working at my desk today for an hour. Want to do that more often. Glad I have that choice. Continuing to appreciate the beauty of nature that I see every day. Oh and I think it's cute that some people here wear winter boots when it's 55 degrees outside. ‪

Day 20
Reminding myself that the way other people act/react is who they are, not a reflection of who I am. Reminding myself that I need to be careful to make a distinction between my pain and other people's pain and to be empathetic but not sympathetic. Because I am so sensitive it's very easy for me to feel the pain of others, but it's more healthy for me to focus on what I can do to make the world a better place in my little world than to waste my energy worrying about things I cannot control. Lastly, reminding myself that not everybody will like me or understand the way I choose to live and being okay with that. Really.

Day 21

Day 21
When I say "I don't get out much" I should clarify that I mean I don't go out often on Friday or Saturday nights or when it means the primary activity is eating, drinking, or dancing. Today I attended 3 separate events alone and talked to strangers at each one. This is really good for me - I'm getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone. But now it's Saturday night and I'm happy to chill with my cats.

Day 22 - Went to a "rock" show. Get it? Haha

Day 22 - Went to a "rock" show. Get it? Haha

Day 22
Got to spend a little time with Dallis Meyer that fed my soul and then went to a "rock" show. Get it? Haha. These are my treasures from the weekend.

Day 23
When a trip is coming up, I almost always procrastinate. I know it's a form of self-sabotage but sometimes I just can't avoid it. Today I was a bit overwhelmed because I'm leaving town soon. My self-care for today was allowing myself to cry a little. I realized when I was at the gym why I've always thought the best coaches or trainers were the ones who could make me cry, but I hadn't really figured out why until today.

I realized that I spent a lot of my life holding tears in to the point of numbness, and sometimes the gym/field/track is the only place I allow myself be pushed to the point of tears. Obviously at that point I NEED to cry and it's not even often because the coach pushed me too hard - just that I feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with them and know they can handle seeing it.

I didn't cry at the gym today but I did on my way home. It's good, I needed it, I don't need to talk. Now I need to get my focus back and finish doing laundry and packing.

Day 24
I have a facebook compulsion that makes me afraid I'm going to miss some important piece of news if I don't scroll through to where I left off on my most recent posts feed. I think this stems from a few years back missing news that a high school classmate died. Anyway . . . Tonight I'm going to fight the urge to "catch up" on Facebook and go to sleep and tell myself that's ok. I have a lot of driving to do tomorrow. ‪

EDIT: Well, I thought I could hold myself back. . . Hopefully I can stop catching up all weekend. Alternative self-care act today was going to group meditation at work.

Day 25
Went for a little hike in Iowa City this morning before driving the rest of the way to Minnesota. Also started a new audiobook called "The Science of Mindfulness: A Research-Based Path to Well-Being" and really like it. ‪

Day 26
Going to read a few pages of Buddhist Bootcamp before bed after an exhausting but wonderful day full of family. ‪(thanks Melissa Mo Payne Dittberner!)

Thankful for life, love, family, friends, food, nature, art, compassion, kindness, and growth.

Day 27
Not going to attempt to "catch up" on Facebook tonight. Seriously. Oh and I totally wore my snowpants to stay warm when I was on a brisk walk with a friend for a couple of hours this afternoon. And I got to attempt to learn some basic banjo from Evonne Boom Bilotta-Burke and all about the complicated, fascinating pottery process. #‎canselfcareberbeoveryetplease‬?

Day 28
Went to yoga, had some really good conversations, was well-fed by everyone, got to watch the sunset, and played Pictionary. ‪

Day 29
Had a nice visit with some Dolls and an adorable kitty. Experienced my first Reiki session before getting on the road again. My anxiety was getting a little high so that really helped mellow me out. Now cuddling with a kitty who has done a few things that Little Girl used to do, including burrowing under the covers with me. Aww I sure miss her. ♡

Day 30
Got home early enough to go to the gym, do laundry, and make lunches for the rest of the week. It's the last day of ‪#‎selfcareber‬. I need to do some reflecting on my month of very intentional self-care.